HomeKit: Helping Your Clients Get Unstuck (Parts III to VI)⭕️

Here are the final Parts III to VI of HomeKit that are made freely available to you. HomeKit is the first ‘whisper-in-your-ear’ audio companion to help you get unstuck in sticky situations.

The topics covered in this episode are Discipline, Expressing Love, Procrastination, and Stress.

Each of the lessons consists of

1. An introduction

2. Three strategies

3. Three rationales

Click here to listen to Parts I and II.

Part III: Discipline

Timestamp: [2:50]

The amateurs have goals. And the pros have a system. A system is how discipline looks like.

Here’s How:

1. Make a big decision to avoid small decisions.

2. Create a Daily/Weekly rhythm.

3. Measure progress.

Here’s Why:

1. Discipline cannot solely rely on willpower. Discipline requires the will to commitment, plus a system to see it through into future days.
   Discipline = Will to Commit + System + Rhythm +Progress

2. “My proposition is that if you study people who succeed, you will see that most of them follow systems, not goals.” — Scott Adams

3. A visible sense of progress is one of the biggest does of motivation. What’s visible becomes visceral.

Part IV: Expressing Love

Timestamp: [13:55]

To love without knowing how to love wounds the person we love.” — Thich Nhat Hanh

Here’s How:

1. “I See You.”

2. Soften

3. Close the gap between our intentions and its effects.

Here’s Why:

1. Learning how to love is the most important art-form to learn.

2. To love is to act on what is hidden in our hearts and direct it to the ones we care about.

3. In a deep sense, union is what we are seeking.
   

Part V: Procrastination

Timestamp: [24:44]

Procrastination happens when we are facing something important on the outside that elicits anxiety on the inside, beckoning us with the question, ‘Can you face your own frontier?’

Here’s How:

1. Prescribed Boredom.

2. Use a 15-min Timer.

3. Do Before Plan.

Here’s Why:

1. Boredom is the cure for procrastination. Aim to get from A to B, not A to Z.

2. Substitution is an act of avoiding psychic pain. A fixed time to face your initial demons makes it containable.

3. Pour out what you already know before doing any research to get you going.

Part VI: Stress

Timestamp: [33:18]

John O’Donahue said,

Stress is a perverted relationship with time.

Here’s How:

1. Aim to achieve less in a day, so that you achieve more in a year.

2. Build “white space” into your schedule.

3. Stress is not the problem; a lack of recovery is. Build in periods of recovery.

Here’s Why:

1. Becoming anti-fragile: things that not only withstand stress and volatility but actually improve and gain from such experiences. They become stronger, more resilient, and better adapted to uncertainty.

2. We don’t know how to rest.

3. Planning fallacy.

I hope you found this useful. Join HomeKit for more strategies to get unstuck in various situations.

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Daryl Chow Ph.D. is the author of The First Kiss, co-author of Better Results, The Write to Recovery, Creating Impact, and the latest book The Field Guide to Better Results. Plus, the new book, Crossing Between Worlds.

You might be interested in my other Substack, Full Circles: Field Notes on the Inner and Outer Life

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