Comparison. Frontiers Friday #178 ⭕️
Seven Ideas on how to compare and prevent envy and jealousy.
Comparison
This week, a cross-post from my other Substack, Fullcircles: Comparison.
This is an important subject. If you are in clinical practice, you are likely to see the issue of comparisons play out, especially for teens and young adults. Comparison is a source of suffering. It manifests as anxiety and depression, rumination and insomnia, etc.
This needs to be addressed. Comparison is like porn. You can't help but look. And If you look long enough, you might mistake it for reality.
Notice Board:
2nd Fireside chat on 26th of Mar, Tues:
Scott Miller and I held our first virtual fireside last tuesday. What a treat to have people bounce off the conversation, thinking aloud and exploring ideas. We talked about the possibilities and limitations of deliberate practice (DP), the role of the coach, the unintended consequences of incentivising DP, the role of motivation, and what it means to be a witness to each other.
Our monthly fireside is a free, “no expectations, no agenda” monthly live zoom meeting. Just an opportunity to explore deliberate practice, feedback-informed treatment, and professional development together with other like-minded professionals.
Cost: Free
When: 8am Central Time on the last Tuesday of every month. Second meeting to be held on 26th of Mar, 2024.
Space is limited (all 100 seats were taken up within a few days, so register early, and kindly make sure you block your calendar to attend this).
Registration is required.Waitlist for Structure and Impact course:
Join the 4th cohort of S&I, aimed to help you structure the arch of the therapy hour, so that you create an impact for those you are trying to help. Drop an email to admin@darylchow.com with the title “Waitlist for S&I” and we will send you a special early bird promo code.
Note: Thanks to those who already sent in. You’d hear from us shortly!Contribution:
If you like to contribute to Frontiers of Psychotherapist Development (FPD), please drop me an email (admin@darylchow.com). Your article can be about your journey, what you discovered, what your struggles were, etc. Said in another way, we would love to learn about your high-points, low-points, and turning-points.
True gifts goes in a circle, and not a straight line. Others might benefit from your learnings. Or if you decide to start your own Substack, let me know. I’d love to support your efforts.
Daryl Chow Ph.D. is the author of The First Kiss, co-author of Better Results, The Write to Recovery, Creating Impact, and the latest book The Field Guide to Better Results.
Terrific that you're citing Hans & Ola Rosling's work!
While I generally agree with you about what kind of comparison is constructive, there's a risk of invalidation to the patient presenting their way of comparison as destructive. The patient might think "I do things that make me miserable so I'm incompetent at living". So I would like to see a benefits analysis of "destructive" comparison, eg it's easier to do.